We all know, or have at least been told, that networking is important. It helps you both in business and in your job search. After all, there’s a reason the saying, “It’s not what you know, but who you know, that counts,” is so common. Whether we care to admit it or not, your networking acumen plays a significant role in where you are today.
Sadly, many of us make crucial (but easily fixable) errors when it comes to networking. It doesn’t matter if you’re an introvert or an extrovert; we can all improve in this area. So, today, I thought I’d share what I believe are the three biggest mistakes many of us are making.
1. Letting our fear of networking prevent us from networking
I’ll admit it, I’m not a natural networker. As an introvert, it takes considerable effort for me to attend a networking event. In the back of my mind, several thoughts often race. First, I might tell myself that I don’t know anyone there. Then, that I don’t know how to approach people I don’t know. Finally, that I don’t know what I should say to them once I have their attention.
I can feel my stress rising just writing about it.
Here’s what I find interesting about this: once I’m actually at an event, I find that it’s never as bad as I had imagined. In fact, I usually leave these larger gatherings having met a few people who become great connections – something that wouldn’t have happened if I had let my anxiety get the better of me.
With that in mind, here are two ways I manage the stress that networking induces in me:
Plan in Advance
This is particularly easy if the event is organized on a platform where you can see who will be attending. In this scenario, I do a little research to find out about the people who will be there. Perhaps I have something in common with them that we can discuss, or they are in a field or industry I’d like to learn more about. There might also be a chance that we have a shared connection. Whatever the initial point of contact is that I can use to approach people and introduce myself, I’ll use it.
I also think about some general questions I can ask that will help me carry on a conversation. Something a lot of people new to networking don’t realize is that you can ask the other person about anything – you don’t have to just talk about business. It’s actually better to approach new people this way.
Ask them about things you wouldn’t find on their resume, such as what they like to do in their free time, places they’ve been to, their favorite restaurants, if they have kids, what good movies they’ve seen recently, etc. Eventually, you’ll ask them about what they do, but your first goal is to learn who they are. This will make networking feel less transactional and more about relationship building.
Set the Right Goals
Goals have a distinct way of putting unnecessary pressure on you. When it comes to networking, I avoid setting goals that include a number, such as how many people you want to meet or how much time you want to commit. Instead, my goals are first and foremost that I show up, that I try to meet people and have interesting conversations, and that I find ways to enjoy myself while I’m there. The goal of just showing up is the most important. If I can achieve that, I feel it’s been a success. The others are just a bonus.
2. Failing to follow up.
I see this happen a lot with clients I’ve worked with. They attend a big event, meet a few people, and then feel like it didn’t lead anywhere. They tell me it was a waste of time. Then I’ll ask them, “Did you follow up with anyone you met there?” Almost always, they say no.
Attending networking events is only about 20% of the equation; the other 80% happens afterward. This is where you establish your connections and grow your network.
As you meet new people, if you want to have a deeper conversation with them, make sure you get their contact information. If you are a job seeker attending a large networking event, I suggest getting a pack of business cards made rather than bringing along resumes. Unless you’re at a job fair, no one wants to carry your resume around the entire time. The other option is for both of you to exchange contact information on your phones, either sharing phone numbers and email addresses or connecting on LinkedIn.
A few days after the event, reach out to those new connections you had a good conversation with and try to schedule a time when you can meet up with them again over coffee. In-person meetings are ideal, but if the only way you can connect is through an online meeting, it’s better than nothing.
In these follow-up meetings, you’ll have a chance to have a longer conversation and get to know them even better. You’re also going to have a chance to see how you both can help one another in some way. Sometimes these sorts of conversations lead to introductions to new people or referrals to job opportunities. However, don’t go in with these expectations. Your goal is simply to learn more about that person, learn more about what they do, have a pleasant conversation, and see how you can assist each other. Never view these interactions as a waste of time. You’re simply getting your name out there to more people, regardless of the short-term results.
3. Quitting networking after we get the job or grow the business.
Many of us tend to “get too busy to network” when the immediate pressure is off. It’s easy to find other things to do that suddenly take a higher priority.
However, when you stop networking, you become “out of sight and out of mind” to everyone you’ve met. Someone in your network might have an even better opportunity for you, but you won’t be told about it because they didn’t think of you. Why? Because you stopped attending those networking events.
Think about it: there’s a reason some of the most successful businesses continuously advertise, even though you’d think their brands are well-established. They spend significant advertising dollars because they know if their customers start to think of a competitor first, they will soon go out of business. The same goes for you with networking. No matter how many people you’ve met and talked to over the years, they’ll stop thinking of you if you stop talking to them.
So, even if you don’t love networking. Even if you have a new job and are busy. Even if your business has reached a comfortable financial position. Never. Stop. Networking.
The lesson here is that networking doesn’t have to be terrifying if you have a plan and don’t set unattainable goals for yourself, which can cause you to avoid it altogether. Networking doesn’t end after you attend an event; you have to keep the conversations going afterward. Finally, networking is a continuous activity, not a one-time event.
If you take these lessons to heart, you’ll have succeeded where others fail. You’ll be a Master Networker!